nimrodiel: (Default)
nimrodiel ([personal profile] nimrodiel) wrote2002-06-10 12:14 pm

writing...

I'm entering a writing contest called "The Car I Loved the Most" It requires an entry of 100 words or less. My problem is this: I've written my piece. Had to chop it down, chopped it down some more. It's final length is 121 words.

Here is what I have currently. Does anyone see anything I can do structurally to make it 21 words less?

"My car was a 1992 four door Geo Metro. It was my first car. I was given this car during my second year of college, after my grandmother died. It was such a freedom to have a car at school. No longer did I have to beg people for rides to the grocery store, or take the bus back home for visits, I could go when I wanted to, wherever I wasted to. There were times my car gave me problems, but it served me well. I recently lost my car to a tree that fell on top of it due to wind. I’ve rejoined the pedestrian lifestyle and I find that I miss the freedom of having my car."

[identity profile] meetzemonsta.livejournal.com 2002-06-10 10:37 am (UTC)(link)
This is 101 words:

"My first car was a 1992 four door Geo Metro. It became mine during my second year of college, after my grandmother died. It was such a freedom to have a car at school. No longer did I have to beg for rides to the grocery store or bus rides back home for visits. I could go whenever I wanted to, wherever I wanted to. There were times my car had problems, but it served me well. I recently lost my car to a toppled, windblown tree. I've rejoined the pedestrian lifestyle and found that I miss the freedom of driving."